Vol1, Issue10

Volume 1, Issue 10 - October 2001

Here We Go…

By Vinny Distefano

Starting this month, we’ve setup a Guest book on our homepage. Angie’s Dad & Mom had the idea to add it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner. Even when I can’t get to see her, I’m thinking about her and her family. I’m always on the lookout for something or someone new who can help them. I think I was looking too hard and missed the obvious. Anyway, stop by and send a special message to Angie.

Also, there is another person for you to meet. Mandy Bradshaw. She had arrived in the I.C.U. about the same time as Angie. We met her folks, Pam and Rick and many of their family and friends as well. Her website is Pray4Mandy.com. It chronicles Mandy’s struggles and triumphs. They have photos, poems and letters from those who know her. All who have had a friend or family member, who has been hurt in this way, tell the same stories. The professional rejection of anything positive. The pain of not knowing, but believing in miracles. And the deep pain felt from the immeasurable love for your son or daughter, your sister or brother…your friend.

We live thru their lives. What do they feel? What do they see? Are they in pain? What are they trying to say? It all hurts us. Yet as much as we cry, as overwhelming as it sometimes seems to get, it can only be a trivial pain in comparison to being trapped inside one’s self. Every time I get tired at work and don’t go to see Angie, I feel I’ve let her down. It is rare that a few days will go by that I don’t see her. If even for just an hour or two. I’ll tell you, though, there is nothing in my day to day life, work, bills or any of the normal stressors that will ever again get me down the way they used to. When ever I’m feeling sorry for myself, I think of Angie and her struggle. It really puts life into perspective. None of that really matters if you stop and think about it. All we have is each other. It’s why we’re all here. Our faith, our family and our friends. As seen as a result of September 11, 2001, our toys or status don’t matter. We’re all in this together, no colors…no races. Just people. This is over eleven years old, but wraps it up…

Go Away

words and music

©1990 Vin Distefano

I've seen in my lifetime, too many people cry…

   While others close their eyes hoping it might

   Go Away, Go Away, Go Away out of sight.

We've all heard stories of kids needing to be loved.

    While others close their eyes hoping it might

   Go Away, Go Away, Go Away out of sight.

Nightly reported news, the morning’s front page blues.

We're all the same, no one's to blame.

Maybe it's just a dream to live in harmony.

   But if we close our eyes we all just might…

   Go Away, Go Away, Go Away out of sight.

Where We Stand

Getting Closer…

Angie has her family and neighbors checking up on her daily. Some new friend, too. She is still being challenged with staff changes and having a new CNA that hasn’t had a patient like her before. I don’t know why. So we teach them Angie-101. We request of them to follow their own guidelines: Pillows here, wedge there and switch in two hours. Put her braces on her wrists and remove them in two hours. Alternate with her leg brace so they’re not all on at once. Check her tube feeding is not empty. Make sure she doesn’t have air in her stomach. Don’t pack pillows all around her. She wants to move her right leg around. Be sure to crank the bed up high enough, 30 degrees, so she is not lying too flat. Don’t put blankets on her and don’t turn off the air conditioner! She can still get hot if she’s covered too much. We can kick the covers off, she can’t yet. Don’t work on her as if she wasn’t there. Try to be careful moving her. She can’t complain of pain. Don’t let that fool you. She feels everything. And don’t put a towel around her neck in case she vomits. It drives her crazy. She hates anything around her neck.

Please get her up and out of bed each day and put her in her chair. Tilt it back a bit so she is not sitting straight up. Please don’t let her slouch with her head hung forward. She can’t swallow in this position. And she does swallow! I don’t want to see saliva dripping from her mouth. That drives me crazy! Imagine how you would feel if it was you and you couldn’t tell anyone you were uncomfortable. Talk to her. She loves to hear voices. She “perks up” when she hears the family come in. She really mellows out when we take her out for a “walk”. She loves to feel the breeze in her face. I’ve told her parents I want to take a spray bottle of water out on these walk. That way I could “spritz” her and tell her it was a big wave on the beach. She loves the beach. She can yell at me and call me whatever she wants later for tricking her. I’d really like to get her a wet suit and take her to Discovery Cove to play with the dolphins. Hmmm, sounds like a plan…

So the next time you think it’s all too much and you can’t take anymore, think about helping someone who would trade places with you in a split second. (In NY, that’s the time it takes for the traffic light to go from red to green and the guy behind you blows their horn. Hey, the President said to get back to normal!). It’ll help you and it will surely help them.

Till next month, be safe…and please…

Pass it on and tell a friend to stop by. Thanx.